A day in the life

To cure my insane boredom today, I decided to document my day....

First came Fenway's (I'm renaming all the dogs. this one is May) first walk of the day. Such an unfortunate name for a cute dog. Cute but a huge brat. I have to wipe her after she pees.

At least I walk her in Hamilton Park. It's so pretty!

I usually run into UJ here; he screams "hey sweetie" and strangers see a young dog walker sitting on a bench with an older insane man.
Then over to Helens to feed her cats and water her plants that i had "killed" in the beginning of the summer. Funny how she asked me to do it again.... they look fine to me!

I failed to take any photos of my next job...lets just put it this way, his name is TIppietoes and he's a pit bull.
Next came Homer (Homes). He's my favorite. Yes, I play favorites.

We visited Laura.

Then came the worst dogs ever...Benny and Gradie Bell. Benny is labeled "agressive". He's an asshole. I remind him every day. He constantly tries to lunge and bite people.
<---JERK
Their walk is definitely the best though; it's along the water and so nice!


This is where they almost lead me right into the light rail everyday....

...sometimes I wish they do.
Next is my month long cat job. I get to go to this dudes house right by the path everyday until sep 8 and play with his cats (and feed and clean their shit). I also get to play their Wii!

...i don't know their names so i call them white nose and brown nose.
Lastly, I head back to May's (fenway). The Farmers Market was going on so i bought some cheap zucchini which i'm about to freeze bc i'm bored as fucking hell. Fenway sucked. She wouldnt calm the eff down.

And this is what i like to call 'the end of the day; disgruntled'....

my lists

Things I have Broke in the past 2 weeks
1) glass on picture luke made of a skull
2) glass on picture luke made of a tooth
3) flower pot
4) headband
5) ipod
6) coffee carafe
7) shoes
8) ruined red jeans

Things I'm Good At
(a list made by kirsten, minha, laura and nick)
1) drinking
2) playing with colors
3) talking non stop
4) eating
5) playing with cats
6) telling secrets
7) putting my foot in my mouth
8) baking
9) nagging/ napping
(from laura)
10) being bubbley
11) wearing floral prints
12) getting people to do shit
13) laughing
14) baking
15) organizing
16) making things pretty
(from minha)
17) painting nails
18) wearing eye make up
19) doing minhas hair
20) punching
(from nick)
21) wearing pendants
22) breaking shit
23) fighting with den
24) blacking out on gin

Everyone's on planet retard.

Welcome! You are now entering planet retard. Where have our minds gone?!?! I can't understand a simple fucking joke; Minha;s waving at the tv and asking me "what's the name of that show with the olsen tiwns?" ummmm...full house?!?! no duuurrrr! Did the summer melt any common sense we all had? Or did we even have any to begin with?
I fell off my bike last week.,. hit a curb at a wrong angle...bam! into rush hour traffic.... and today i almost got hit by two cars! i really wish they hit me....

Today the Jonas brothers have stalked our life... and right now they are on Leno...(lame). i want to fight them. With the way their jeans are like five sizes too small on their packages (collectively), i can't believe they're playing the virgin card! And i just found out one broke 20....WTF!?!?!

ugh everythings fucked up. cats and gin, that's whats good.

creeps everywhere!!!

So after my last blog, I was told to go to the creeps new apartment to walk his dogs. I get there and no one is there. Turns out I have to go to the old apt, where the crying incident took place the day day before. He's home. He tells me he'll come for the walk with me. Ugh. He asked me if I worked out haha. Then I had to walk to his new place with him, so he can show me where everything would be. I ran out of there so fast!!!!!

Now, a few days ago, I got a call saying I have to wipe this little shit of a dog after every time she pees. Who the fuck does that?!?! I'm also working 7 days a week..... waitressing has never looked so good.

This job must end!

Down with dog walking!!! Yesterday, the first day day ever that it wasn't one million degrees, I walked my two pm dogs (two huge muts, one doesnt walk so i have to lift her and the other was labeled "aggressive" and tries to bite me). When I got back to their place to drop them off (after climbing the 4 stories of stairs with them bc the aggressive one cant use the elevator for fear of biting people) the woman who owns them is there. SHe asked how they were and then told me her light was delayed until tomorrow. She was spontaneously going away for the weekend because her husband decided to leave her. Like a true gentleman, he picked up and immediately moved into a new place....right across the street. Oh, and he's taking her dogs and bird. Then, she starts crying. I'm standing there, drenched in humid sweat, hungover, and paralyzed with confusion. I met this lady once before for 10 min, do I hug her? Do I slowly back out the door? Or do I slap her around and tell her herr husband was a creep anyway? SO many options. I went for the sweaty hug. It was just as awkward as I expected. Like if you were to hug your teacher or something. Today I get to go meet the creepy husband at his new place. I'm bringing mase.

dog walking= steaming pile of shit

The past week has been INSANE! Who knew being a "professional" dog walker would mean I was on call every second of the day?@?? Basically I am a human pooper scooper. WIthin the past few days I have received frantic phone calls......

1) "You didn't leave a note?!?! Now the owner will never know if her dog pissed or shit, or both! She had to to race home from work and let them out immediately!" However, before she took her dogs out, she made sure to call my boss, not me, voice her complaint, wait for my boss to call me, and thheeeennnnnn find out if she needed to walk her dog. Idiots.

2) Number two was more of an accusation. "I heard you were wearing a dress and heels to meet a client. she was concerned you wouldn't be able to walk her 8lb dog" Ok, so it was 8am and i swung by this ladys' place to meet her, NOT TO WALK HER DOG AT THE TIME. I threw on a dress from the night before....no heels, when was the last time I wore heels?!

3) and I quote..."However, I am very disappointed in Kirsten's watering skills. Basically, my heirloom Brandywine tomatoes are dead and crispy brown, my dahlias almost dead, so probably no flowers this year, and everything else was very wilted, the earth caked and pulled away from their containers, my front yard a disheveled mess, when I got back on Sat. at noon. She was supposed to have watered on Mon and Weds and Friday, and clearly she didn't. I showed her the hose in the front, it should have been extremely easy. I even called her cell phone on Fri. to check in, she didn't indicate any problems. One of the MAIN reasons I hired your service was the plant watering aspect. We are going away again for a week in August, and I would consider using you again, but I would like some confidence that the person will actually be able to water the plants correctly. I would prefer not her again."
I am officially a plant killer. ( and i did water her plants all three days, for the record.)

This job sucks.

When I grow up....

...I want to forget everything i have learned after the age of 8.

Years of being tortured through schools, middle, high school and stupid college, got me jobs doing things as using the alphabet, cleaning up dog shit, placing sunglasses in numerical order, and walking. Why bother even going to school! I would have been qualified after I learned how to read! It is truly amazing. Another thing that I have realized that fascinates me is people's use of defense mechanisms. A person can be so scared that someone will do something to them, they end up doing it to themselves subconsciously, and then everything gets fucked up! How crazy are we that we constantly sabotage ourselves through fear? The human race is a fucked up thing full of impending doom. Does anyone else feel it? I do. There's such a heavy air of sadness around in the past few months. My awareness of it started in Ringwood and worked its way over to jersey city. I'm sure it's all over the northeast working its overwhelming way over to the suicide states (aka midwest).

"Aw fuck it, i'm gonna have a party!"

After 23 years of absolute anxiety I have finally realized "what does it matter, we're all just going to die anyway." It's the truest statement i have ever said. Why worry and go fucking crazy? EVERYONE just dies anyway! With this statement present in the front of my mind I almost feel empowered. I am now ready to try and read a book. If i'm going to die eventually anyway, I might as well try and become a more well rounded person while I can.


A List of Previous Failed Attempts to try and Stay Sane:

-Aggressively walking
-Gin Gin Gin Gin Gin
-coloring
-watching crazy childrens shows in the morning (Yo Gabba Gabba, Fraggle Rock, etc)
-shopping
-getting lost in the woods/park

"Amazing still it seems, i'll be 23...."

While washing the hot sauce off my foot in the shower (last night i dropped a huge bottle of hot sauce and it exploded everywhere), I came to a few realizations.....

First off, as I kick 22's ass out the fucking window, and welcome 23 with caution and lack of trust, I seem to become more and more of a hot mess everyday! At first I thought my clumsiness/ bad luck/ stupidity was just a phase, but I was wrong. In fact, it's getting progressively worse as the years go on. So much for that psychic saying my bad luck will end two December's ago....

The next two are things I already knew, but tried so hard to have faith and not believe them, until i found myself speaking like an after school special last night. "...but what sucks is that nothing can be accomplished unless people have faith in themselves," and something else along the lines of "everything's the same no matter where you go." That equals a big fat LAME.
I hate growing up. I don't want to lose all my friends (like my mom told me will happen).

Ok and a question, if I think that all boys are the same, do boys think that all girls are the same?

AND! HOW DO I GET MY CATS TO STOP HIDING UNDER MY BED!??!?!?!

new apt...almost there.....

Tour de 315 3rd!

panic pagoda> cranky cave

My moms bffe said today that i am a freshman in life. so true! and waaaay crazier than a freshman in high school or college. This is it. No "4 years and it will be over" bullshit. This is the beginning of the end. Every decision will affect THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! can you tell i'm having a nervous breakdown? Tomorrow, April 30, I have a job interview with a high end jewelry designer, Jennifer Miller. I am also bringing my checkbook in case i get the call from Min that says "go to JC and give dumb donna (the broker) your cash money"..... tomorrow could be the start of something huuuuuuge! Or, it can be a complete failure. Who knows. For a planner to have no plan, it's one of the scariest things in the world! There's only one thing that can wipe out my mind of all thoughts...

Current Like and Dislike

My most current Like....the 'missed connection' ads on craigs list personals! they're addicting to read! the first time i encountered one of these was in seattle (<3)
"On Sunday Night 4/20/08 you - a female brunette in her mid twenties- were behind me at the A&P Express check out line. I let you cut in front of me since I had 10+ items and you only had 2 4-packs of Fleischmann's margarine, I didn't want you to have to wait. The margarine ended up being on sale and I let you use my Bonus Card. You saved a couple bucks, sweet! 
You thanked me three times. The check out girl even told me, "Wow, she was into you." 
Well, whether you were or not, you made my weekend."
I could read these all night....oh wait, i have.
My most current dislike....
CROCS "CYPRUS"! *vom vom* i saw an ad for them. they have 3" heels!!!! ahhh! they're so ugly they almost offend me.  it's not like regular crocs were bad enough, now they have to target women who think so low of themselves that they would succumb to buying heeled gardening shoes! there's just some things i will never understand... like the midwest.

"how can anyone deny the benefits of lying with your friends"

Apples in Stereo understand bed party!!!!  Finally! Another believer!  This is a point I can never clearly relay.  It always ends up real dirty, or just plain ol creepy.  What's so wrong about wanting to have a huge PJ party, with allll your friends, in a bed!? Sleeping could be so much more fun.  I'd also buy everyone PJ sets.  Everyone deserves a good PJ set.  Plus, the best part of a big party is the morning after.  Everyone recaps  the tid bits they remember from the night before, this way, all the folks who blacked out can be caught up on how they spent their night (always useful, and most of the time, embarrassing).  Plus, breakfast rules after a party!  And that is also when it is funny that some guests are still throwing up.  I propose bed parties for all!! And if there is no bed big enough, line the floor with mattresses!  Groping? No.  Cuddling? Perhaps, but you must get permission first.  Best slumber party EVER?  Absolutely!

i'm wide awake, it's morning

After climbing down from my bed and laying on the floor for a while, I decided to come to my computer.  It's 7:40 am.  I'm exhausted but can't seem to sleep.  Charlie's party was pretty awesome.  His roommate and him beat a pinata, that was a mini, yummy version of my car, to a pulp.  Sara found the jackpot with the whoppers.  Charlie seemed really happy and that's all that matters.  I love my friends birthdays. It's kind of odd.  I just want people to be happy.  

There's a weird bird outside my window making toooooo much noise!!! And John won't stop coughing.  At least I can't hear bag pipes....yet. Those things are the WORST to wake up to!  The sounds of spring need some getting used to.  Opening my window is like living in a whole new room.  The lesbian across the street with the insane mullet, her husbands truck is reeeaallllly loud.  He leaves for work at 5am. He also backs into my driveway to exit his.  Then, on most saturdays and all sundays the guy next to them practices his bag pipes at around 11am.  This week, it was during the week as well.  There also must be 4 different kinds of birds in the tree outside my window bc A) i hear the weirdest bird noises all the time and B) my car is usually covered in shit.  I'm just glad that i get to sleep with my foot on the window sill.  I didn't get to do that last summer....lets just say i had a 'house guest' who over stayed their welcome.  (Was that good for not naming names or what?)  I guess it's time for me to reclaim my position on the floor, and hopefully I will make it up to my bed sometime soon.  Boo for not being able to sleep.

"I'm such a lucky mess.."

It's so beautiful out! I'm sitting on my deck, drinking coffee (at 5pm haha), enjoying the breeze, listening to some good sunny day tunes (Belle and Sebastian, Kimya Dawson etc).  I realized I am way broke so i'm in the process of sending Laura stuff to put up on ebay for me. She's the best!

Yesterday was pretty freaking awesome.  I filed at scholastic for a little and then headed uptown to meet Pete.  We strolled to Bergdorf's and looked at fun ties!!! Then we looked at alllllll the windows....  I think my favorite was the one with the girl with the cat head (no, not because she was part cat).  Finally Minha called us back.  We went to dinner at Landmarc.  It was really good.  I kept getting "in trouble" all day for being too loud, so I was psyched that it was loud in there.  "Mom" and "Dad" did however ask me if i needed crayons to sit through the dinner. aw boo.

We then parted ways with Pete, and Min and I went to see Nada Surf.  Amazing!  We had a great view, we weren't pressed up against snotty adolescents,  and they played for almost 2 hours!  I would highly recommend going to see them.  It is well worth the money and Matthew Caws voice is flawless.  We left the show after the last song "blankest year"... the one that sings "oh fuck it, i'm gonna have a party".  We were pumped.  I called Pete to see what he was doing.  They were at a bar in JC so Min and I took the path to grove st.  We got out and it was thunderstorming!!! It was pouring! So we started running.  Pete was an extreme gentleman and came and met us with an umbrella ( i was told not to yell under the umbrella!).  By the time we got there, Min and I were soaked from head to toe.  Upon looking at me Laura said "Kirsten brought her jerry curl".  the bar was fun.  Pete bought me a Killians Red (my fav beer) which i was especially in the mood for bc Nada Surf killed it on that song! i got home at 5am after driving through the craziest fog ever....stupid ringwood....

I am off now to the grocery store to purchase ingredients for Charlie's bday treats! This is a good weekend.....

Pirate skulls and bones

The only thing that kicked my Ringwood blues was guns. It was bangin. haha. I was super scared! Laura most certainly was not. That girl was like, Annie Oakley in a past life. She said she loved the warmth of the gun. She helped me load it, as did pete. Actually, they loaded it for me. Anyway, I shot the gun and my initial response was, woah. It was intense! And I couldn't stop laughing! I decided I like the smell of gun powder a lot. It totally let out some aggression. Now it's time for some boxing. Bring on the gloves!!!!

kirsten likes color

No bus for me today!  I drove my little bug to JC where Laura dropped me off at the PATH.  We saw Will walking on the way so we picked him up!  How convenient!   He was taking the same train as me! It took me 40 min to get from JC to Bumble and Bumble (mental note).  Interview went well... the lady was sooo cool. (omg there's a hot guy sitting next to me at the bar at Starbucks).  I cant even write!  I get distracted so easily!  Ok, he's gone......aw boo....

ANYWAY!  SHe said the position might be filled already but she can see me doing other things there too, and that stuff always changes around there.  I explored the salon like she suggested and i REALLY want to work there.  She told me to keep in touch with her and she would do the same.  

I actually felt good when I left there.  I then made my way to canal st to purchase more vintage "D&G" sunglasses.  I got 2 pairs!!!  The guy kept telling everyone i was his girlfriend...he was fat, old, asain, and missing teeth....apparently we've been dating for 3 years. if you need sunglasses, my man can hook you up....

Pete then called to see how my interview went.  I got so wrapped up in explaining it to him that i walked the wrong way on Broadway and didnt even notice until right after i hung up! ( This was right after I claimed to him that I was "kinda good" at walking).  I really like this Starbucks.  The people are SUPER nice and its quiet (Broadway, right under canal).  i'm now off to walk in the CORRECT direction, purchase a gray cardigan, meet Minnie, eat a burrito, hop on the train, go to a vintage store opening where laura's going to work, drop Minnie off, and possibly swing by the forge to wish Glen a happy birthday! Happy Bday to Kel too!!!!

.....no forge, store was awesome! Pete got to come to dinner! Min and Pete were wearing great outfits and they totally matched

interview...pt1

(written on 4/2...blogged on 4/3)

Strangest bus ride ever!  Bruce the bus driver almost side swiped a car after the bus stalled 3 times then broke down on the side of the NJTP!  This fat lady sat on me when we sat down, then we transferred busses.  All these construction guys in dirty work boots were drinking beer in paper bags on the bus....the bus to ringwood...  the cops came after the switch and Bruce told everyone to hide their stashes.  Then a lady yelled "put that thing on the gas pedal!" and a guy replied " i'll tell you where to put it"....ew?  I would have head butted him, or used my self-defense training, taught by Tommy B......

My interview was good (Bergdorf, freelance styling).  She looked and sounded like Jane, Alissa's old roomie.  She wanted pics of the FP windows...too bad im dressed up and have inserted my self into each scene.....(ex...tutu's, boat, bear, dome...)  The reception area was fancy, and beige, exactly how i pictured it.  I had to walk through the visual closet to get to the lady's office.  It was really colorful, and really messy! I saw a hot pink Oscar de la Renta dress hanging out...so pretty!!!!  The interview only took a  hot 15 min....

Lunch was bangin!  I went to the cinema cafe with Min, her friend Lindsay, and my dad.  He's crazy, but bought us lunch.  Min is apparently still the #1 daughter to my dad....and might just be my #1 wife....

When i got home i baked Kelly a cupcake bouquet!  I did not think about how i would transport it though so ihad to drive 20 mph with it in a bucket.  Then Erin came over and we had the usual awesome night; arrested development, wine, and coloring.  A long successful day if i do say so myself!

Back to the blog...PR part 2....

Warm (humid), sandy, and lovely.... that is how i can describe my week (did i forget food coma as well?). Let me take a look at my notes...

* I learned that Puerto Rican diners are more delicious than NJ ones. It's the truth! Now hear me out, the beer was cheap ($2.75), they give you a garlic kind of bread when you sit down, and they have fresh, amazing seafood for a decent price! We must have spent around $20 for two meals and two beers (both for me of course)
* I realized that I average around a gallon of water a day ( one day it was a half gallon in 30 min!)
*Some Spanish phrases I picked up while in San Juan...
1)No se de donde vinieron (las drogas) ---> I don't know where the drugs came from.
2)Donde esta la peleade gallos? ---> Which way to the cock fight?
3)Creo que voy a vomitar. ---> I think i'm going to vomit (one i used most)

We traveled to old San Juan one day to see the beautiful architecture ,
the cooooolest cemetery ever ,
and fucked up statues!

That night my 3rd LG chocolate cell phone broke! I had only had it for a week!! We went to dinner at the expensive restaurant at our hotel and that night they had a special, with any purchase of 2 meals you get a bottle of house wine for free! So naturally I drank the entire bottle. That night we were awoke by a fire alarm. So random. Someone was trying to smoke a cigarette on our floor. Idiots!

The next day was the rainforest!!! It was so beautiful! We hiked through the lush foliage to a waterfall...
Minha's fav. part was passing by 4 cute boys. Minha says...." I was walkin walkin walkin, taking pictures. Two hot guys say hello. Walking, another hot guy. Kirsten in the distance making the international grab ass sign."
Our awesome tour guide, Hector, took us to an observatory and a few waterfalls. We talked about tattoos (i'm making a generalization, but Puerto Ricans love my tattoo), and on the way back i asked him to tell us a story and it went something like this....
Hector got home early one day (when he was still married) and was cleaning his van before he could take his wife out to dinner. She asked if he needed any help to speed the process along. He told her to help clean the inside of the van and to start from the back to the front. Lo and behold, there was a naked spring breaker passed out on the back bench. Her friends got her real drunk as part of a hazing process for a sorority, she passed out, and they took her clothes. Naturally, the wife freaked the fucked out. Needless to say, they are no longer married.

That night we went to a Mexican bar and grill and ate the spiciest jalapeño EVER!!!! I cried! But i ate it anyway. We ate ourselves into food comas and i drank a margarita the size of my face (and then another one). It was great, until I threw it all up. But it was my last night in Puerto Rico, vom wasn't about to get me down! I flushed that food and marg's down the toilet, and started a bed jumping dance frenzy ("Kirsten, let's jam!").

Coming home was stressful (cab->plane, plane->air train, air train->A train, A train-> bus, bus-> walking, walking->car, car-> verizon, verizon-> HOME!).
I got a new phone, 4th one!!!!! DONT GET THE LG VERIZON CHOCOLATE!!!! THEY HATE PEOPLE!
Vaca was fun! I loved being warm.... however, I am still finding sand in my scalp.

Puerto Rico... take 1....

Greetings from San Juan!!!! It's 11.32 pm, i'm sitting on a deck with minha (which btw has tiles with tangerines on them), in short sleeves, listening to the ocean and staring at some palm trees. Ahhhhhh...it's good to not have a job.

Minha and I couldn't sit together on the plane...no, not because i would annoy her half to death and not let her sleep, but because we both got stuck sitting next to mother/daughter pairs.  I did however get to watch Juno on the plane while some little shit of a kid was kicking my chair. 

Our hotel is blue.... very very blue.  All the lighting gives off a blue glow...i personally would have liked pink, but it's really pretty!  The first thing we did when we ran into the room was jump on the awesome bed!  (pictures of everything to come, i forgot my cable).  We then ate a heaping pile of nachos, which were made on wontons and they had ginger on them. so good! I also had the best iced coffee ever!!!  Did i mention it was all on the roof?  We then walked on the beach and i found a real live sand dollar! So creepy.... then we layed on the huge white couches on the roof. As agnello luck would have it, I got a call from Bumble and Bumble to set up an interview...which is great, but unfortunate that they waited to call until the day i left.  I left the lady a message and hopefully she'll meet with me next week (all of you with that thing called good luck, cross those fingers!)

Min and I raced in mario kart on our DSs' while listening to michael jackson.  For dinner, we had the bessssst sushi ever..... on the roof. I got a free drink because the bar tender made an extra! yesssss!!! We're beat and can't wait to go to the beach tomorrow.....

another blog, another day.... wooooooooooo

RIP Kirsten's coolness

Yesterday,  March 13, 2008, Kirsten Drew Agnello's coolness has passed on.  We all knew it ran its last course when Kirsten went tanning a few days ago to help shield herself from the Puerto Rico sun in a week.  It's final hour was spent applying to a creative group, and reading the latest issue of Rolling Stone yesterday afternoon.  It passed between the times of 9pm-11pm last night, when Kirsten found herself watching Lost with Bear, and talking to the tv.  She then went to the forge with a few friends.  It was pronounced dead at the exact moment that Steve Brown yelled "who's that hot girl across the bar?" to her.  Kirsten was seen today at the eye doctor, picking out a quite lame pair of brown glasses.  She then went grocery shopping and chatted it up with the unemployed house wives and stay at home moms.  She proceeded to go to the bank, and then go home and bake treats for various friends.  At the time of 2:15, she went tanning again, then came home and made home made hummus.  While making hummus, Kirsten admitted to Pete ( who she tried to dress up in JCrew attire and go sailing a few days ago), that she was a fan of tennis and wanted a tennis skirt.  She then showered and sat on her bed in her bathrobe and blogged.  It seems as if her coolness was replaced with a lame strain of domesticity.  It will be missed by all, but in the easter spirit,  it may rise again!  A trip to good ol 16 Bryant may just be the thing to revive this cold, dead, decaying 'cool'.

the 24 hours of good luck

Today started out like every other day.....

I woke up, made coffee, and got to writing some more cover letters.  Little did i know, today would be the day i'd be a big girl.  I was debating whether or not to make a third cup of coffee.  Did i really need it?  Of course i did! So i made that third cup.  Sitting at my computer at the island in the kitchen, i began to sip that coffee and all of a sudden steaming HOT coffee was spilled all over the island!!!! Everything was soaked! It dripped down the cabinets, into the spices, my cupcake tins were soaked!!!!  The kitchen reeked of coffee....but what did not get a bit of coffee on it?  My computer.  Any other day my computer would have been fried.  My clumsiness has soaked a camera, phone, and ipod.  So my computer was spared??? This MUST be my lucky day!!!!!

While cleaning up endless amounts of caffeine, my phone rang.  My long lost friend Glen called, wanting to go to Letchworth.  In case you didn't know, it's an abandoned community for the epileptic and feebly minded.  This place has been run down for 10+ years and Jake took Lauren and i there right before new years.  The first time i went i was petrified,....Jake held my hand the entire time!!!!  I warned glen.  PLUS, we needed someone to neutralize our horrible luck (glen and i have toxic luck together).  In came Andy, and thank god bc i missed him too!  So the 3 of us headed to Letchworth.  I warned them, 'guys if i grab your arms or hands, dont be alarmed.'  

We entered the building with the morgue in the basement....the one that burned down on the top floor.  

After exploring, Andy climbed on the roof! 

Glen and I soon followed.

I apparently got a splinter in the process.  We all climbed inside and headed downstairs.   I found myself becoming extremely brave and leading the way!  I couldn't believe it!!!!  I had all of a sudden become a big girl!!!!

After this lovely excursion, i headed home.  Bear and Fox were waiting for me and i gave them big fat hugs.  I saw a lot of abandoned cats today and wanted to take them all in.  Sadly, they wouldn't come anywhere near me.  Go figure!  I also came home to an awesome post card from Pete!!! I love post cards, almost as much as i love this blog......

Erin came over to color.  I explained to her how my luck was strangely not that bad in the past 24 hours.  We rejoiced and colored!!!  She colored her brother a beautiful picture of strawberry shortcake hugging a snowman.....then, an hour later, i spilled a full glass of water all over that picture and her entire coloring book....as well as everything else on the table....

The moral of this story.... my good luck lasted for 24 hours.  It was a great 24 hours...no injuries, a surprise or two,  got stuff done, didn't ruin anything, and got a chance to hangout with/ talk to people i really wanted to (minha, glen, andy, erin, lauren, jesslyn, laura, pete.. blahblahblah).  I hope this happens again, but until then, i'm really glad i bought this bottle of gin.

"Alone on a train, aimless in wonder..."

It was an east coast kinda day, with a very interesting twist.... I, for once in my life, experienced good timing!  

I caught the express train to canal st. because i have a habit of getting off a stop past where i'm supposed to so i can walk a few blocks.  It's a strange and hard habit to shake.  I purchased Michael Jackson inspired fake D&G sunglasses for the party.  Then off to scholastic books to work my filing magic.  Corinne and Carrie are always my favorite people to go talk to, and Carrie always has a really bad ass pens for me to use...... i used the one with giant pink peep on the top, in the spirit of easter (my least favorite day).  The previous day i had fallen off my 3 ft. high bed, so i had to steer clear of the cuts and bruises on my arm while throwing out pounds of old papers.  

After filing i did my usual routine; walk up broadway to dads work in times square and stop in every store along the way. After purchasing a pair of black sparkly leggings, i walked up to union square, where a 'free tibet' rally was occurring. The poor man speaking on stage was being drowned out by the massive amounts of construction they were doing on the corner. 

Next came exploring the new Free People.  It was so weird.  It was two floors and really bright!   Like, American Apparel bright! I also forgot how overpriced it is. It left me a little unsettled, especially because the cloths fall to pieces within the same season.  I texted Minha to tell her about the store.  She then called.... here's where the good timing occurs.....

'where are you?' i asked

'union square'

'me too!!! meet me on the corner!!!!!'

I then met Minnie and we got mochas; hers a straight up mocha, mine a dark chocolate one (delish).

I couldn't believe it!  For once in my life, I had good timing! It felt great having an unexpected surprise and feeling like i was in the right place at the right time for a change.  I won't get used to it, but i've had a taste of the other side of timing, and i totally want more.

Hot Vom....

...is the name of my new metal band.  We tour with Sister Fister.  Hot vom was inspired by 'girls night'.  Have you ever seen day old fondue?  I have.  I've washed it, smelled it, photographed it; it's pretty gnarly.  'Girls night' consisted of a brief encounter with fondue, followed by the almost habitual dance party.  This dance party was equipped with st. patty's day mardi gras beads, emmy photo shoots, table dancing, skirt raising, and yes, mooning .....of some sort.  Then, it was time to get serious.  A lesson on dating was in order. I've never been on a date so this topic intrigued me.  I was also very interested in hearing what kind of questions my fellow girl friends had.  I don't think the lesson will do any of us much good, but it was fun to listen to.  Next, out came the crayons.  Minha colored her own version of sleeping beauty dancing with her prince...and let me tell you, i've never seen a disney scene look so depressing before.  Laura knocked a glass off the counter, which then managed to explode 5+ ft in the air and cut her forehead.  Minha replied with "did you check your brain?"  By 4am i was ready to start drinking again, but morale was low.  I finished the champagne and everyone went their respected ways into random sleeping arrangements.  Erin decided the couch was best for her.  I sat down next to her and told her a bed time story.....

"Once upon a time, at my 20th birthday party, everyone was going to sleep.  Brian and I were in the kitchen and I was crying AT him.  THings upset me that night and poor Brian was the only person around to cry to.  Nothing makes Brian more uncomfortable than a crying girl.  Anyway, we were ready to go to bed and he said he was going to sleep on the couch, so I went to find him a blanket.  I tucked him in all nice and went to bed.  The next morning i woke up to Brian talking about how he woke up sweating his ass off because, those were in fact not blankets, but curtains.  The End."

I also knocked Minha out with my stories about Bear (Skruffy) and Fox (Bailey) smacking my mom all the time. 

'Girls night', for the most part, was a success.  There was dancing, crying, voming, and almost a fight! (one day i'll let you try and beat me up Laura)

I hate to admit it, but 'girls night' is just my excuse for people to sleep over. If you title a hangout sesh 'girls night' people automatically assume slumber party.  If you say "hey come over and get drunk" the response is most likely either, "no" or "whos going to drive me home."  And that, my friends, is how i coax people to sleep over.

"youre good at throwing parties, just that people dont want them"-glen

No Pete did not find out about his "surprise" party through my blog.  I think planning will ultimately be the end of me.  I get crazy into whatever party I'm planning, blinded by themes and outfits and food.  Cupcakes? 78 of them? No biggie!  100 glittered tissued paper flowers.... I can do it!  150 pink and red balloons? Load em into the bug (hence the name 'party bug')...and everyones trunks as well.  Right now, with girls night approaching, and the Michael Jackson theme party (that 24 hours ago was Pete's surprise party)right around the corner,  I have lists all over my bed, outfits lined up, and recipes flooding my computer.  I most likely won't be able to sleep until it's all over and then I will go into post party depression.   That is the endless cycle of a planner.  So if you like parties, appreciate your host, and if you don't, then no one wants to be your friend anyway.

"suckin on a chilli dog as fast as they can"

Best start to a new month! After the insanity that was g-mas surprise 80th bday party, i headed back to 16 bryant with my new case of wine and flowers that i had inherited from the party.  5 bottles were drank by 3 people.  It was a night of hair teasing (everyone's), uke playing, moon walk walk-off pet cemetary, then the hiccups (you can read the hiccup blog on the 16 bryant blog) We also watched the entire movie Bottle Rocket without sound! Called Robbie A at midnight to sing happy bday ... 55 still alive. Anyway, it ruled. Today was a day of delirium. I stepped out of my traveling bug, slammed my uke into my lip, then rammed my knee into my license plate. My mouth was bleeding. Getting settled in on their couch which I've almost called 'home' a few times, I showed off my new ukulele skills. After that, Giancarlo taught me something very interesting. Do you know what a stranger is? Apparently its when a dude sits on his hands until they go numb and then he jerks off. Kelly contemplated this for 10 minutes. She finally came to and decided that this was not possible. How can you use your hand if it's asleep? So true kel.... can you?

the day that didnt exist

february 29th, 2008....did this day exist? it wont next year, what makes it exist this year? The day started with asshole drivers, then....lauras car battery died in hoboken...it took a half hour for some nice spanish guy to finally help us jump start our car. "do you need a jump? lemme see you jump"(in louis armstrongs voice). we made it home. had may fav meal of all time, grilled cheese and red wine. then, the boys came home from work. hello wine! hello redbull and vodka. a few friends came by. My barbie coloring book was a huuuuuge hit. Boys love coloring , no matter what they say! Luke bought me a cartoon cat calendar. It's way cool. (ps laura just told my computer to 'close its eyes' bc she'd teasing my hair). So anything that happens in feb 29, stays in feb 29...it will only be remembered in 4 years, when this day happens again. What did happen feb 29th? Only the day will know.....

full time job

It is soooo a full time job finding a full time job. Endless days writing and re writing your resume.....constantly checking craigs list and monster.com (which is absolute bullshit btw). They ask "type in your keywords and we'll find you a freakin sweet job!" so I type in visual display. EVERY GOD DAMN DAY i get an email with the "right" jobs for me! THEYRE ALL ACCOUNTING!!! Ok, I was visual arts....i got a C in retard 5th grader math in college...what the fuck makes you think i can be an accountant!?!?
The whole process is mind numbing. I'm delirious, living in a fog. "It's already 6?!" is what i find myself saying daily. Coffee throughout the day, sitting at the PC, browsing, writing, re writing. Nada. Once it gets dark, its ok to drink booze now...gin, wine, whatevs,,,,, pass out by 3, and repeat.
Why is it so hard to find a job? Don't companies want fresh, young adults to liven up their work days? guess not. i know i'm not alone. There are tons of us out there. Wake up at 2-3pm, make some coffee, browse the internet looking for a jobbie, shower, dinner, go hangout with people who have jobs for like 2 hours, go home, get drunk, and pass the fuck out...... so anyway....
who wants to take me to work with them? Bring your Kirsten to work day?!?!

Shitting Where You Eat

I'd like to picture myself like Rev. Run. Instead of a bubble bath in a luxurious bathroom, i am in my bed in the cranky cave. Instead of being covered in bubbbles, I am smothering myself with my blanket. But why the hell not be Run and 'reflect' on life lessons and blah blah blah. My biggest concern and greatest thing i've learned this year, besides the fact that i can't lift a 30lb weight over my head no matter how hard i try, is to NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT! I guess its hard being confined by a mountain and lacking opportunity to expand social horizons, but nothing good comes of it. Think about it......
You make this bangin meal...turkey tacos if you will.... the guac is gleaming, the cheese is sharp, the aroma of spicey ground turkey maneuvers it's way through your nasal passages.....it's all laid out on the table, you have your shell in hand. First you add the turkey, then cheese, rice, guac, taco sauce, lettuce.....can't you almost taste it? As you're about to take that first bite BAM!!! shit everywhere!!! All over your perfect taco as well as the rest of the table. Now what? you're fucked. Mildly uncomfortable, mostly nauseuos, and all you want is some gin! You don't want to touch the shit so you leave it alone for a while and avoid that room. Eventually, you're going to have to clean that shit off. But it's not pretty. Other people may not even want to hangout with you. I mean, do you blame them? Maybe in a few years you can live it down, but people talk shit..... especially about shit.

response...

to read robbie a's response go here....
http://web.mac.com/onthelamb/Site/Blog/Entries/2008/2/26_Blog_wars_The_Daughter_strikes_back_.html

The last line is the best lesson a parent can teach their child.

Oh Dad.....

Most of you know him as Robbie A, I know him as Dad. This blog was created as my retaliation to my fathers on going blog about his everyday life. I would like to clarify the story he told..... http://web.mac.com/onthelamb/Site/Blog/Entries/2008/2/25_Why_I_get_up_in_the_Morning.html

He is "off" sugar, but continues to put maple syrup in his tea. " While maple syrup has a 60 per cent sugar content..."(taste.com.au) no durrrr. Anyway, I asked why he just doesn't use raw sugar, unbleached, organic, whatevs. He said "i'm off sugar". I replied, "maple syrup is sugar as well." This went back and forth, the same statements repeated, for a good 3-4 minutes. Finally, while smirking at me, he said for the last time "i'm off sugar." It was then I had a revelation..... my father was a boy.....
He knew very well that I was right (hence the smirk), but wouldn't admit it. His response was "what did you think I was, a pterodactyl(<---yeah dad, thats how you spell it)"
It's a sad day when you realize your dad is just like every boy you've encountered,or analyzed obsessively with your friends....